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Broke? Confused? Nah. Levi Johnston will always viva la juicy

Alaska Dispatch

Broke, confused? C’mon Bristol. Levi Johnston will forever viva la juicy in our eyes.

On the same day that Bristol Palin's production company released the a trailer for her upcoming reality show, US Magazine is reporting that Levi Johnston is "not the Thrilla From Wasilla anymore.” Or at least so goes the headline to a story about the one-time Playgirl cover model, the Vanity Fair favorite, the poetic soul who penned such lines about Bristol Palin as, “I sucked in the smell of her perfume, Viva La Juicy and was swept away.”

Levi Johnston isn’t feeling so poetic these days, a “source” tells the magazine. The “source” says that Johnston is now penniless and living in his mother's Alaska home. According to the “source,” he squandered his money on guns, boats and four-wheelers, and hasn’t paid child support in nearly two years.

One-time rep Tank Jones, however, says that Johnston is doing great.

How could he not be? After all, Johnston appears to have moved on. He has a new girlfriend with whom he is expecting another child, this one to be called Breeze Beretta. He’s got those guns, boat, four-wheelers, so it can’t be all bad.

The “source” says that Johnston is “confused about his life.” But long-time watchers of Johnston have said that the only time he has experienced such a complicated emotion as confusion was when he was plucked from the Wasilla woods, forced to wear a suit and sit next to Bristol as her mother became famous at the Republican National Convention. Now that’s fodder for confusion.

Some might believe that reading about Levi through the mouth of an anonymous “source” could be the early whispers of a much louder battle cry. A battle cry that sounds a lot like a Palin trying to get media attention say, for the upcoming reality show about a certain ex-girlfriend, her tender offspring and their trippy life in the Last Frontier.

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