As the wind blows in my direction, it cools my face and messes my hair, it changes how I look. Someone saw me later on and I forgot my hair was all messed up but they said, "Hey, I like your hair." Embarrassed at "how" it looked made me hand-comb my hair. Compliments are difficult for me to receive. But that little change did me good, it was nice to hear a compliment from someone I saw maybe a couple of times. A pat on the back can take you a long ways!

Change is in the air, since my son's completed suicide on December 14, 1997, two days before his father lost the battle against cancer. I have made a change on how I look at his death. I used to say, "He was only 23 years old," but now I say, "I was blessed with 23 years of his life," and that change was "Ok" with my heart. I have become aggressive in my approach to suicide prevention awareness because I feel it is important to share what I know so that others do not feel how I do on a daily basis.

When there is a suicide, it affects the whole community and sometimes the surrounding communities as well. Please know you are not alone. Please know the "change" I am talking about includes you -- you are the one that will decide to ask for help, you are the one that will show the positive changes in your life, we will be the one to say, "You look great, keep it up!" Why? Because your life matters to us.

If I could sit down and ask what your passion is, to use every muscle in your mind to achieve that passion, that change will show itself and beam for others to see. Society expects failure, whether you pull out of that rut or reach out for someone to pull you out of that rut, is up to you.

Thanks to the men and women at war so that we are "free" to make "change" in our lives! Thanks to our ancestors that have gone on before us because they instill that resiliency in our blood! Yes, the blood that flows through your veins!

As Father's Day approaches us, let us remind ourselves that we need each other, that family is important and you're standing at the cross-roads of life, make that positive change to be a model for others to follow.

Barbara J. Franks is a mother whose child completed his suicide. She works now as an advocate for prevention and helps others through the grieving process.

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